MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) — It’s that time of year again. The leaves are turning, the air is crisp, the rotted flesh is falling from the faces of the masses lumbering down Washington Avenue looking for a beer buzz.
In other words, it’s time to get yourself prepared for the now ubiquitous Zombie Pub Crawl. It stumbles in this Saturday.
This year, the zombie army is expected to be so large as to necessitate triage in both Minneapolis and St. Paul locales. (They’ll even have a shuttle bus for the zombies who are wearing their dual-city wristbands. Zombie transit!)
It’s expected to be so large that two headlining acts are set to keep the zombies at bay while the society of the living plots their next move to combat the impending zomb-pocalypse; organizers hope that 2 Live Crew and Andrew WK can hold the undead’s attention.
It’s expected to be so large that the Guinness Book of World Records will be on hand to verify what looks to topple the previous record for most zombies in a single gathering. Over 4,000 were included in a head count in Jersey, but we have it on good authority the crowd may have been sneaking in a few extra (severed) heads. (Which also means this is the first time a portion of the crawl has been cleared for 18+ baby zombies.)
What began seven years ago with a mere handful of zombies has blossomed into a full-blown pandemic of blood, gore and brew.
I chatted with Claudia Holt, one of the pub crawl’s organizers, from the safety of our Hazmat bunker. She offered me the following tips for surviving the Zombie Pub Crawl long enough to catch another screening of Dawn of the Dead this Halloween.
Tip 1: “Eat something!” And preferably not brains. Zombies need sustenance if they’re going to stumble around like Night of the Living Dead for, um, the entire night of the living dead. Holt says the crawl will have food trucks in Mears Park as well as throughout Minneapolis.
Tip 2: “The deader, the better!” While this is not a fashion show, it sort of is. You won’t win any awards for having the sickest costume, but you may get a few pulpy high fives. You can pick up your wristbands at Ragstock outlets, and Holt suggests it might be a good idea to garnish your costume with some of their vintage options.
Tip 3: “So long as they still have legs, zombies like walking!” In other words, they hate waiting in line. So Holt says pick up your tickets/wristbands in advance, bring cash and take advantage of the beer specials.
Tip 5: “Even zombies can have manners!” A blurb in the ZPC’s FAQs mentions the unfortunate mess left in one Chipotle bathroom, and I remember seeing more than just a little blood spattered about along Washington Avenue last year. Holt reminded, “Just because you’re dressed like a zombie doesn’t mean you get to act like a jerk. Don’t break stuff or ruin stuff that doesn’t belong to you.”
See you on the other side, mortals.