MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) — There’s no denying it, the one song that I associate the Minnesota Twins with is not the “We’re Gonna Win Twins” song or even the GB Leighton one. Nope. It’s the Star Wars main theme. Any time Kirby or Herby jacked a homer, that’s the song we heard blasting throughout the Metrodome.
That’s why my heart sank when I saw and heard about THE John Williams composing music for the Boston BoSux and Fenway Park’s 100th Anniversary. It felt wrong.
I want John Williams composing booming and moving musical pieces for the handful of homers that leave Target Field. Since Williams was already spoken for by the BoSux, I decided to have a “Composer Draft,” matching up some MLB teams with composers who can musically express their team’s essence in order to create the greatest instrumental playlist for attending ballgames.
Here’s how the draft went down:
Boston Red Sox – John Williams – “Fanfare for Fenway”
New York Yankees – John Williams – “The Emperor’s Throne Room”
Los Angeles Angles – Jerry Goldsmith – “Boldly Going Where No Team Has Gone Before”
Texas Rangers – James Horner – “A Beautiful ‘Nolan Ryan’ Mind”
Toronto Blue Jays – Elmer Bernstein – “Ghostbustin’ the AL East”
Detroit Tigers – Hans Zimmer – “A Dark Knight Game Rises”
Chicago White Sox – Howard Shore – “The Lords of the AL Central Rings”
Cleveland Indians – James Newton Howard – “The Hunger Baseball Games”
Kansas City Royals – Randy Newman – “Toy Story”
Minnesota Twins – Danny Elfman – “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure”
Things got sketchy right away when the Yankees drafted John Williams after Boston drafted him first. They promptly offered more money than George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and the Red Sox have combined. Williams accepted.
Then the Angels, not having any more money after signing Pujols, drafted Jerry Goldsmith to take them somewhere no team has gone before by signing that ridiculously enormous contract.
The Ranger’s own “Beautiful Mind,” Nolan Ryan, drafted James Horner. I imagine Mr. Ryan in his office with stats and pitch counts scribbled all over the walls, floor and ceiling.
In an effort to get rid of all the Red Sox and Yankees ghosts in the AL East, the Jays drafted “Ghostbusters” composer Elmer Bernstein.
The draft then continued to the Central Division. The Tigers went with the obvious choice by choosing Hans Zimmer because any game with the Tigers this season will surely be a “Dark Knight Game.” Since the White Sox are the only Central Division team to win the World Series in the past decade they chose “Lord of the Rings” composer Howard Shore.
The playoff desperation is showing in Cleveland after they choose “The Hunger Games” composer James Newton Howard. The Royals, because they are fun to watch at first but get old by mid-season, drafted “Toy Story’s” Randy Newman.
Finally, since you never know what you’ll get from the Minnesota Twins and it’s always a big adventure, they chose “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure’s” composer Danny Elfman.
What music composer/soundtrack would you draft for your favorite team?
Peter J. Nelson