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The Twins got bludgeoned by the Oakland A’s Wednesday night by a score of 18-3, and the game was every bit as brutal as the score might suggest.
So what should a fan do when they find themselves watching their favorite club get taken to the woodshed? The answer for most is to give up and leave early.
But that seems like such a waste! You’ve paid for your ticket, and baseball is as much about the “game experience” as it is about the game itself.
So with that, here are a few suggestions on how to pass the time until the 27th out is mercifully recorded:
1. Put that cellphone to good use!
Most people are leaving, so access to the ballpark WiFi should be plentiful.
Text your friends, and let them know what you’re going through. Send them regular updates as the score climbs and climbs and climbs.
Break out Instagram and send a beautifully-filtered shot of the ballpark. (I recommend “Earlybird” for baseball.) Don’t worry, there won’t be many fans left to muck up your shot.
Perhaps you could even put together a cleverly-constructed Vine video showing your favorite swings and misses from the home-nine.
2. Go buy a media guide!
If you don’t own one already, go to the pro shop and drop a few dollars on a media guide. Every bit of historical information the average fan could want will be at your fingertips.
As the opposing team racks up more hits and runs, you’ll be able to impress your friends with anecdotes like “The last time the Twins gave up this many runs in an inning, Glen Perkins was a starter!”
3. Play “Who’s the New Guy”!
Plenty of subs will be hitting the field in the latter innings — especially with expanded rosters in September.
This dove-tails nicely with point 2, since you’ll be able to use your new media guy to find out fun facts about guys like catcher Eric Fryer who made his Twins debut Wednesday night and hit his first big league home run!
You can even get terribly obscure and point out that Fryer was once part of a trade that sent Eric Hinske to the Yankees. Trust me, your friends will be impressed!
4. Get yourself a foul ball!
It won’t be that hard as long as you’re willing to scramble. There’ll be plenty of open seats to scout out, and plenty of ricochets to chase after.
Worried you don’t have the wheels to run one down? There’ll be plenty of youngsters who’ll be more than happy to snag one for you for a small fee.
How small is up to you and your conscience.
5. Be that guy/gal who won’t leave!
Sure some folks who you’re with will be annoyed, but you can remind them that you paid for 9 innings and gosh darn it, you’re staying for 9 innings!
Think of it as a matter of personal pride and discipline. You waited out an awful ballgame when so many weaker-willed fans just gave up!
Or you can always remind the folks you’re with of the game on August 5, 2001. The Mariners led Cleveland 12-0 after three innings, and 14-2 after five innings. Cleveland fans left the park in droves. And why not, the game was over, right?
Not so much.
A three-spot in the 7th, four more in the 8th and a furious five runs in the 9th tied the game, which Cleveland won in the 11th on a walk-off Jolbert Cabrera single to left.
It can happen!
And wouldn’t you kick yourself if you’d left and it did?!