Major League Baseball has blessed the world with some truly fantastic nicknames in its 145-year history: Lou “Biscuit Pants” Gehrig, Ruben “Slam-wich” Sierra and Milton Bradley. Wait, scratch that last one.
Here’s what the MLB currently has to offer in the sweet nickname department.
Chris “Pure Rage” Perez
“Pure Rage” is not the Norwegian black metal version of “Pure Moods” — everyone’s favorite CD compilation from the 90s. It’s the nickname of Dodger pitcher Chris Perez. His outspoken and hot-tempered nature earned him the nickname, and eventually led to the voluntary deactivation of his Twitter account. Alec Baldwin may be a soul mate of sorts.
Brandon “Dat Dude” Phillips
The three-time All-Star and second baseman for the Cincinnati Reds is beloved on Twitter by his almost one million fans. He even showed up at one’s little league game after a half-joke invite because he said he had no plans that day. The origin of Phillips’ nickname is both unclear and obvious: He’s simply “Dat Dude,” OK? Nuff said.
Todd “The Toddfather” Frazier
The given name “Todd” is just naturally funny (not the surname though … not at all). It sounds more like a verb than a name, and perhaps not one of the more flattering verbs. Look, the nickname “Toddfather” isn’t all that creative, but it does feature “Todd” in it, and that’s good enough to make the list.
Ryan “Tatman” Roberts
With more than 30 tattoos, Red Sox infielder Ryan Roberts (pictured during his time with the Cubs) is naturally the “Tatman.” His tattage includes the Japanese character for “family” on his neck, several crucifies, the phrase “carpe diem” on one of his hands and the words “God gave us a fairytale” over his collar. Did we mention he’s into body art?
Dustin “Laser Show” Pedroia
The Boston Red Sox second baseman is accused of using the phrase “laser show” to describe general awesomeness since he was a kid. It’s safe to assume he had a profound experience watching “Laser Floyd” at his local planetarium as a youngster. But after using the phrase to describe his prowess at bat, it turned around and bit him. Pedroia, sadly, doesn’t think the nickname is that laser show at all.