Charges: Minn. Man Ejaculated In Co-Worker’s Coffee

MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) — A 34-year-old Blaine, Minn., man is accused of ejaculating on his co-worker’s desk and in her coffee.

John R. Lind faces two counts of criminal sexual conduct for incidents that allegedly happened since late February. Charges were filed in Ramsey County.

According to the criminal complaint, an employee at Beisswenger’s hardware store in New Brighton called police on Aug. 26., saying she thought Lind, her co-worker, was leaving bodily fluids on her desk.

She told officers that she found Lind that afternoon standing in front of her desk, his back turned to her and his hands near his crotch. The worker wasn’t sure what Lind was doing, but she told police he had a “deer in the headlights” expression on his face when he noticed her behind him.

Lind then quickly left the room and slammed the door behind him, the worker said. Seconds later, Lind came back, told the worker he had a question for her but forgot it. He then left the area.

The worker told police she inspected her desk and found fluid on the surface, dripping onto the floor. A lot of it had been absorbed into her hair scrunchy, which she put into a plastic bag. When at the scene, officers collected her coffee mug, coffee and scrunchy.

The worker told police that she’d had problems with Lind for months. He’d allegedly leave his zipper down often. It happened so much that the worker said she threatened to report Lind if it happened again.

On Aug. 28, Lind agreed to meet with police at the New Brighton Public Safety Center, the complaint states. While talking with officers, he admitted to ejaculating on his co-worker’s desk and coffee on Aug. 26, which was his birthday. He then went on to admit that he’d ejaculated in her coffee twice in the last six months, and on her desk four times, wiping up the mess with the scrunchy.

He told police he was attracted to his co-worker and did this to get her to notice him. He also said that he knew it was “gross and wrong,” the complaint states.

The worker told police that her coffee had tasted strange on numerous occasions – more than twice in the last several months. She said she initially thought the taste was spoiled cream, but when police informed her that Lind admitted to tampering with her coffee, she said “I knew it.”

Lind told police he’d never done this to another woman.

He’s summoned to be in court on Sept. 29. If he’s convicted of both counts, Lind could face a penalty of more than a year in prison and/or a $4,500 fine.

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