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Therapist Talks On Coming To Grips With A Child's Death

MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) -- Doctors say the death of a child is the most devastating grief a parent can experience.

It was especially hard for Jacob Wetterling's family on Tuesday, when they sat in court and listened to the confessions of Danny Heinrich, who admitted to kidnapping, sexually assaulting and murdering their boy 27 years go.

Now the Wetterlings must cope with the fact that Jacob died when he was 11.

Dr. Kirsten Lind Seal, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says the loss of a child is a deeply-rooted pain, and that the stages of grief often include denial, anger and depression.

In the Wetterlings' case, after Jacob's abduction, they became advocates to help keep other kids safe, which is what doctors encourage.

Lind Seal says now that Jacob's remains have been found and the family knows what happened, the road to coming to grips with the reality of Jacob's death won't be easy.

"First thing is really coming to grips that he really is dead...to sit with the fact their beloved Jacob is gone," Lind Seal said.

Jacob's abduction changed the culture of parenting in Minnesota. For that reason, Lind Seal believes parents should talk to their kids about what happened.

Depending on the age, she says some details shouldn't be discussed. However, she said that telling Jacob's story will help kids understand how to keep themselves safe and the risks that are out there.

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