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TALE OF THE TAPE

NFL

  1. New York Jets v New York Giants Atlanta Falcons v Baltimore Ravens
    Tale Of The Tape: New York Jets At Atlanta Falcons

    Geno Smith has exceeded expectations by the numbers that he has produced. The Jets rank 16th out of the 32 teams in the NFL in passing yards per game, and nobody thought Smith would be at that level during his rookie season.

  2. elicredit2.jpg boxingcredit2.jpg
    The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”

    Perhaps the most lopsided battle in video game sports is that of Little Mac vs. Glass Joe – the first fight in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! If done correctly, skilled players can knock the beans out of Joe in 42 seconds, flat. Unskilled players can still take him out before three rounds are up. And unskilled players who think too much would wonder – why is a French guy named “Joe”?

    In any case, we here at CBS wondered, what was a more lopsided matchup (and subsequent surprising defeat): Mac vs. Joe? Or the recent Super Bowl champion New York Giants vs. the mostly hapless Carolina Panthers? Let’s go to the tape. Please note that the “winner” of each category is the more humiliating option:

  3. natecredit1.jpg digiornocredit1.jpg
    One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

    Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.

  4. Kansas City Chiefs v Pittsburgh Steelers Minnesota Vikings v San Francisco 49ers
    Tale Of The Tape: Pittsburgh Steelers At Minnesota Vikings

    The hole for the Pittsburgh Steelers keeps on getting deeper and deeper, and Ben Roethlisberger is coming off a game in which he had an interception and a fumble returned for a touchdown.

  5. New York Jets v New England Patriots "The Dark Knight Rises" New York Premiere - Inside Arrivals
    New England Patriots Vs. The Dark Knight Rises

    2012’s The Dark Knight Rises was met with extraordinary expectations. Similarly, the 2013 Patriots entered the season highly regarded – as they do every year that both T-Brads and Bill Belichick are on staff.

  6. Cleveland Browns v Indianapolis Colts Minnesota Vikings v San Francisco 49ers
    Tale Of The Tape: Cleveland Browns At Minnesota Vikings

    The Cleveland Browns need Brandon Weeden to be at his best to have a chance on the road against the Vikings.

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