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TALE OF THE TAPE

Sports

  1. BALTIMORE, MD - AUGUST 22: Quarterback Cam Newton #1 of the Carolina Panthers throws a second quarter pass against the Baltimore Ravens during a preseason game at M&T Bank Stadium on August 22, 2013 in Baltimore, Maryland. SAN FRANCISCO, CA - AUGUST 25: Christian Ponder #7 of the Minnesota Vikings drops back to pass in the first quarter against the San Francisco 49ers at Candlestick Park on August 25, 2013 in San Francisco, California.
    Tale Of The Tape: Carolina Panthers At Minnesota Vikings

    The Week Five loss to the Arizona Cardinals was a vital game for Cam Newton. He had performed well in his previous game vs. the Giants and the Panthers were coming off a bye week.

  2. Philadelphia Eagles v Denver Broncos Gaming fans sample EA Sports Madden NFL
    More Impressive Stats? Denver Broncos Offense Vs. Playing Madden On “Easy”

    The Broncos are on pace to break some crazy impressive records. But how do the 2013 Broncos measure up against when I play Madden on easy?

  3. elicredit2.jpg boxingcredit2.jpg
    The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”

    Perhaps the most lopsided battle in video game sports is that of Little Mac vs. Glass Joe – the first fight in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! If done correctly, skilled players can knock the beans out of Joe in 42 seconds, flat. Unskilled players can still take him out before three rounds are up. And unskilled players who think too much would wonder – why is a French guy named “Joe”?

    In any case, we here at CBS wondered, what was a more lopsided matchup (and subsequent surprising defeat): Mac vs. Joe? Or the recent Super Bowl champion New York Giants vs. the mostly hapless Carolina Panthers? Let’s go to the tape. Please note that the “winner” of each category is the more humiliating option:

  4. natecredit1.jpg digiornocredit1.jpg
    One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

    Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.

  5. Kansas City Chiefs v Pittsburgh Steelers Minnesota Vikings v San Francisco 49ers
    Tale Of The Tape: Pittsburgh Steelers At Minnesota Vikings

    The hole for the Pittsburgh Steelers keeps on getting deeper and deeper, and Ben Roethlisberger is coming off a game in which he had an interception and a fumble returned for a touchdown.

  6. Cleveland Browns v Denver Broncos LeBron James Pre Decision Meet and Greet
    Was The Trent Richardson Trade Less Painful Than LeBron James’ “The Decision”?

    For those of you who haven’t been paying attention…Trent Richardson, the #3 overall draft pick in the 2012 draft, just got traded to the Indianapolis Colts.

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