TALE OF THE TAPE

More Likely To Send A Shiver Down Your Spine? Halloween Monsters Vs. Greg Schiano

Halloween Monsters
Greg Schiano
(credit: Thomas Lohnes/Getty Images)
(credit: Winslow Townson/Getty Images)
(credit: Thomas Lohnes/Getty Images)
(credit: Winslow Townson/Getty Images)
Charismatic?
Winner The classic version of Dracula (this is pre-Twilight) is a charming, seductive gentleman. He is fair skinned, mysterious, and - based on that big, dark mansion - probably rich. Very easy to fall for.
Angry and screaming all the time.
Temperamental?
For this, we look to the classic werewolf: a creature that’s almost human for most of the month, only to turn into a raging beast at the first sign of a full moon.
Winner Reports suggest that he’s a raging jerk 24/7.
Prone to Biological Outbreaks?
Winner Sure. Zombies are the ultimate biological weapon. With just a few zombies let loose, you could have a worldwide epidemic.
While we can’t prove Schiano caused the MRSA outbreak in the Bucs locker room, and although it’s not as fatal as a zombie outbreak, it’s still super icky.
Able to be Tamed?
Quite the contrary. Frankenstein’s monster ended up killing his master, his master’s wife, and a few others. Spoiler alert, I guess.
Winner Yep. Apparently, Schiano turns into an eager li’l puppy-dog around Bill Belichick
Able to defeat the mighty hero?
Not usually. There’s typically some attractive hero or heroine able to put these menaces back in their place.
Winner Sadly, yes. He tried having the Bucs' Super Bowl MVP Dexter Jackson kicked out of practice when he stopped by to watch. And though that didn’t work, he kicked out a bunch of young fans.
Awful?
I don't know. Jekyll and Hyde are pretty cool. And mummies are underrated.
Winner The actual worst.

The Winner Is

(credit: Winslow Townson/Getty Images)
Winner Greg Schiano
4 out of 6

So there you have it, folks. With a score of 4-2, Bucs coach Greg Schiano has wrested the title of “Halloween’s Greatest Monster” from a full team of monsters. So, uh...congratulations?
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. Teddy Bridgewater (credit: CBS) (credit: CBS)
    Tale Of The Tape: Teddy Bridgewater Or Mitch Leidner?

    The Minnesota Vikings and Gophers both enter football seasons this year that are full of potential. The Vikings are coming off a division title and looking to make a playoff run. The Gophers are hoping to be contenders in the Big Ten West.

    In both cases, the Vikings and Gophers are likely to go as far as their quarterbacks will take them. Both Teddy Bridgewater and Mitch Leidner give you reasons to be optimistic. They also give you reasons to shake your head in frustration.

    So if you had to choose, which quarterback would you rather have for your team? The answer isn’t as clear cut as one might think.

  2. (L-R) Mikal Bridges #25 of the Villanova Wildcats, Jalen Brunson #1, Darryl Reynolds #45, and Josh Hart #3. (credit: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images) Kennedy Meeks #3, Justin Jackson #44, Marcus Paige #5, Joel Berry II #2 and Brice Johnson #11 of the North Carolina Tar Heels.  (credit: Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
    NCAA Championship Tale: 2 Villanova vs. 1 North Carolina

    After all the hoopla and hype, the NCAA Tournament Championship Game has arrived, and both North Carolina and Villanova are very good, deserving teams.

  3. Head coach Roy Williams of the North Carolina Tar Heels.  (credit: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images) Head coach Jim Boeheim of the Syracuse Orange. (credit: Jamie Squire/Getty Images)
    Final Four Tale: 1 North Carolina Vs. 10 Syracuse

    North Carolina-Syracuse is an interesting matchup for the Final Four.

See All Tales of the Tape

More From WCCO | CBS Minnesota

Goin' To The Lake
The Leaderboard

Listen Live