TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: College Station Vs. Cleveland

College Station
Cleveland
Weather Conditions
Winner Average Temp 69 degrees
Average Temp 49 degrees
Fan Base
Winner Thousands of nubile coeds called “Aggies” screaming Johnny’s name, making eyes at him and texting him their phone numbers.
Thousands of zaftig middle aged men called the “Dawg Pound” screaming Johnny’s name making foul hand gestures at him and texting him death threats after a loss.
Support Team
Yell Leaders: a bunch of elected male nerds who try to motivate the fans with synchronized cheers.
Winner Cheerleaders: a bunch of scantily clad women who try to motivate the fans with sex appeal.
Nickname
Winner Home of the 12th Man
The Mistake On The Lake
Extracurricular Activities
George Bush Presidential Library and Museum
Winner Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and A Christmas Story House
Stadium Name
Winner Kyle Field: The House That Johnny Built? (pending)
First Energy Stadium

The Winner Is

Winner College Station
4 out of 6

This one’s a no brainer. Despite the lack of cheerleaders (why TAMU, why?) it’s quite obvious Johnny Manziel belongs in South Texas. I mean he does have the nubile coeds after all. Heck, they may even name the stadium after him. It will be fun to watch, however, if Johnny Football can handle the frigid temps and mentality of the Midwest.

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. Joel Berry II #2 of the North Carolina Tar Heels handles the ball in the second half against the Kentucky Wildcats during the 2017 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament South Regional at FedExForum on March 26, 2017 in Memphis, Tennessee. Tyler Dorsey #5 of the Oregon Ducks reacts in the second half against the Kansas Jayhawks during the 2017 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Midwest Regional at Sprint Center on March 25, 2017 in Kansas City, Missouri.
    Final Four Tale: 1 North Carolina Vs. 3 Oregon

    North Carolina and Oregon are set to square off in the Final Four. Let’s break down the matchup.

  2. osh Perkins #13 of the Gonzaga Bulldogs celebrateswith teammates in the second half against the Xavier Musketeers during the 2017 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament West Regional at SAP Center on March 25, 2017 in San Jose, California. Chris Silva #30 of the South Carolina Gamecocks reacts after a play against the Florida Gators in the second half during the 2017 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament East Regional at Madison Square Garden on March 26, 2017 in New York City.
    Final Four Tale: 1 Gonzaga Vs. 7 South Carolina

    Gonzaga and South Carolina are set to square off in the Final Four. Let’s break down the matchup.

  3. Super Bowl LI Tale Of The Tape: Atlanta Falcons vs. New England Patriots

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