TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: College Station Vs. Cleveland

College Station
Cleveland
Sam Houston State v Texas A&M
Miami Dolphins v Cleveland Browns
Weather Conditions
Winner Average Temp 69 degrees
Average Temp 49 degrees
Fan Base
Winner Thousands of nubile coeds called “Aggies” screaming Johnny’s name, making eyes at him and texting him their phone numbers.
Thousands of zaftig middle aged men called the “Dawg Pound” screaming Johnny’s name making foul hand gestures at him and texting him death threats after a loss.
Support Team
Yell Leaders: a bunch of elected male nerds who try to motivate the fans with synchronized cheers.
Winner Cheerleaders: a bunch of scantily clad women who try to motivate the fans with sex appeal.
Nickname
Winner Home of the 12th Man
The Mistake On The Lake
Extracurricular Activities
George Bush Presidential Library and Museum
Winner Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and A Christmas Story House
Stadium Name
Winner Kyle Field: The House That Johnny Built? (pending)
First Energy Stadium

The Winner Is

Sam Houston State v Texas A&M
Winner College Station
4 out of 6

This one’s a no brainer. Despite the lack of cheerleaders (why TAMU, why?) it’s quite obvious Johnny Manziel belongs in South Texas. I mean he does have the nubile coeds after all. Heck, they may even name the stadium after him. It will be fun to watch, however, if Johnny Football can handle the frigid temps and mentality of the Midwest.

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

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    Week 14 Tale Of The Tape: Baltimore Ravens at New England Patriots

    The Ravens and Patriots meet again in Gillette in what should be another great game.

  2. MINNEAPOLIS, MN - DECEMBER 1:  Dak Prescott #4 of the Dallas Cowboys hands the ball off to Ezekiel Elliott #21in the first half of the game agains the Minnesota Vikings on December 1, 2016 at US Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  (Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images) PITTSBURGH, PA - DECEMBER 04:  Eli Manning #10 of the New York Giants drops back to pass in the first quarter during the game against the Pittsburgh Steelers at Heinz Field on December 4, 2016 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Justin K. Aller/Getty Images)
    Week 14 Tale Of The Tape: Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants

    The NFC East rivals meet again in the Meadowlands as the Cowboys look to avenge their only loss of the year.

  3. SEATTLE, WA - DECEMBER 04: Quarterback Russell Wilson #3 of the Seattle Seahawks passes during warmups before a game against the Carolina Panthers at CenturyLink Field on December 4, 2016 in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images) GREEN BAY, WI - DECEMBER 04:  Aaron Rodgers #12 of the Green Bay Packers is pressured by Christian Covington #95 of the Houston Texans during the first half of a game at Lambeau Field on December 4, 2016 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.  (Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images)
    Week 14 Tale Of The Tape: Seattle Seahawks at Green Bay Packers

    The Seahawks travel to Lambeau for a match-up with the resurgent Pack.

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