TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of Two Teams: The Fantasy Football Legend Vs. The Fantasy Football Basement Dweller

First Place Fantasy Team
Last Place Fantasy Team
St. Louis Rams v Dallas Cowboys
AFC Championship - Baltimore Ravens v New England Patriots
Team Name
The [r]Ed Hochuli Peppers (ECHP)
Joe Buck Yourself
#1 Draft Pick
DeMarco Murray
Tom Brady
DRAFT DAY PREDICTION
"I can see, in ten years, Coach Harbaugh and Alex Smith still working together like the old married couple they really are. He'll coach 5 rings out of him. Together forever."
"There's no way Arian Foster is playing this year. When you're that big, rehabbing a torn hamstring is like trying to turn a pile of pulled pork into a pig again."
OVERALL RECORD GOING INTO WEEK 14
10-2
2-10
SEASON HIGHLIGHT
Beating team "Your Mom" 144-28 because someone forgot to wake up before 10am PST to set their team thanks to a hangover.
Coming up with the idea to use Robert Griffin's head as the star of the family Christmas tree thereby referring to it for the season as "RG-Tree."
SEASON LOWLIGHT
Losing to "[team]" the same week the office floods from Hurricane Sandy. When it rains, it pours...into your basement and corporate server room.
Trading Tom Brady (based on the fact that he's an UGGS spokesperson and model) for "literally anyone," and playing Mark "Butt Tackle" Sanchez instead.
BEST SMACK TALK
"Seriously, John, if you don't pay the entry fee AND I beat you, I get your girlfriend. I already talked to her and she's fine and encouraging it."
"Me : You :: Best Thing Ever : Worst Thing Ever"
WEEKLY EXCUSE
"I'm not bragging, but obviously I could manage a real NFL team. I'm literally the most talented athlete I know and that's reinforced by my record. You can't argue with numbers."
"DeMarco Murray's foot is my Achilles heel. I knew I should've traded for the Muscle Hamster. How's someone supposed to count on Felix Jones?!"

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. Teddy Bridgewater (credit: CBS) (credit: CBS)
    Tale Of The Tape: Teddy Bridgewater Or Mitch Leidner?

    The Minnesota Vikings and Gophers both enter football seasons this year that are full of potential. The Vikings are coming off a division title and looking to make a playoff run. The Gophers are hoping to be contenders in the Big Ten West.

    In both cases, the Vikings and Gophers are likely to go as far as their quarterbacks will take them. Both Teddy Bridgewater and Mitch Leidner give you reasons to be optimistic. They also give you reasons to shake your head in frustration.

    So if you had to choose, which quarterback would you rather have for your team? The answer isn’t as clear cut as one might think.

  2. (L-R) Mikal Bridges #25 of the Villanova Wildcats, Jalen Brunson #1, Darryl Reynolds #45, and Josh Hart #3. (credit: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images) Kennedy Meeks #3, Justin Jackson #44, Marcus Paige #5, Joel Berry II #2 and Brice Johnson #11 of the North Carolina Tar Heels.  (credit: Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
    NCAA Championship Tale: 2 Villanova vs. 1 North Carolina

    After all the hoopla and hype, the NCAA Tournament Championship Game has arrived, and both North Carolina and Villanova are very good, deserving teams.

  3. Head coach Roy Williams of the North Carolina Tar Heels.  (credit: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images) Head coach Jim Boeheim of the Syracuse Orange. (credit: Jamie Squire/Getty Images)
    Final Four Tale: 1 North Carolina Vs. 10 Syracuse

    North Carolina-Syracuse is an interesting matchup for the Final Four.

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