If the eyes are the windows to the soul, tattoos are the windows to the heart, intellect and mental-health condition.
The National Basketball Association has produced and nurtured some of the most tatted-out human canvases on earth. Here are just five of the best among current players.
Oh, and by “best,” we mean the oddest dang tatts currently on healthy epidermal tissue!
Wilson Chandler — Denver Nuggets
Chandler is perhaps the only man on earth whose body surface contains the likenesses of Beavis, Butthead, Easy-E and Quagmire from “Family Guy.”
His most impressive piece features his adorable toddler, who appears to be poking out of his chest as if he’s wearing a front-facing baby carrier under his jersey. It’s got to be as unsettling to his opponents as it is to, well, everyone.
DeShawn Stevenson –- Free Agent
When a man gets a tattoo of 16th U.S. President Abraham Lincoln on his Adam’s apple, it can only signify one of two things: a deep appreciation for the “Great Emancipator,” or a deep appreciation for the committed work of English actor Daniel Day-Lewis.
In DeShawn Stevenson’s case, it’s clearly the latter.
Chris Andersen — Miami Heat
It looks as if the “Birdman” of Miami seems to keep falling asleep at the beach. But instead of writing naughty things on his bare skin with sun tan lotion, his mischievous pals are carrying him to the nearest tattoo parlor for another free-wheeling session.
Amar’e Stoudemire –- Dallas Mavericks
Stoudemire is clearly a man of strong faith and conviction, and that must be admired and respected.
But his shoulder tattoo, which appears to depict Frank Zappa carrying a naked and weary Prince – under the phrase “Nobody Knows” – is just plain disturbing and highly confusing. Perhaps some more research is required.
Kenyon Martin –- Milwaukee Bucks
It’s always embarrassing to have to cover up a tattoo related to a former lover — just ask Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp or Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
But when Kenyon decided to permanently conceal his tattoo of Trina’s red lips with what looks like a sign of allegiance to Sauron from “The Lord of the Rings,” well, people will talk.