MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) — As the coronavirus (COVID-19) spreads throughout the country, health officials say hand-washing can help you protect yourself.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends washing your hands after using the bathroom, sneezing, touching your face, or eating.
Not only are you supposed to wash your hands, you’re supposed to wash your hands for 20 seconds. If you’ve ever tried washing your hands for 20 seconds, you know it actually feels like a long time and can get a little boring.
So the recommendation from health officials, sing “Happy Birthday” twice while washing your hands. But what they don’t say is which version of “Happy Birthday” they’re talking about. Is it the fast “Happy Birthday” you sing solo to someone over the phone? Is it Marilyn Monroe’s “Happy Birthday” to “Mr. President” John F. Kennedy?
Perhaps a new benchmark for song duration is in order, and what better way to re-train Minnesotans how long they need to scrub down at the sink than to put it in terms of Minnesota’s most famous musical export? Naturally, we’re talking about Prince.
Below are some excerpts from the Purple One’s most famous songs that should take you to the 20-second mark, and maybe get you so in the groove you keep singing and end up throwing in a few extra seconds for good measure.
You don’t have to be rich
To be my girl.
You don’t have to be cool
To rule my world.
Ain’t no particular sign
I’m more compatible with.
I just want your extra time and your…
[smack, smack, smack, smack, smack] Kiss!
“When Doves Cry”
Maybe I’m just too demanding.
Maybe I’m just like my father, too bold.
Maybe I’m just like my mother
She’s never satisfied (She’s never satisfied).
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry.
She wore a raspberry beret
The kind you find in a second hand store.
And if it was warm she wouldn’t wear much more.
I think I love her.
“Little Red Corvette”
I guess I should of known
By the way you parked your car sideways
That it wouldn’t last.
See you’re the kinda person
That believes in makin’ out once,
Love ’em and leave ’em fast.
I guess I must be dumb
‘Cause you had a pocket full of horses
Trojan and some of them used.
“I Wanna Be Your Lover”
I wanna be your lover.
I want to be the only one who makes you come running.
I wanna be your lover.
I want to turn you on, turn you out
All night long, make you shout
Oh lover, yeah.
I want to be the only one you come for.
“Baby I’m A Star”
Hey, take a listen.
Tell me do you like what you hear?
If it don’t turn you on,
Just say a word, I’m gone.
Honey, I know ain’t nothing wrong with your ears.
Hey, check it all out.
Better look now or it just might be too late.
My luck’s gonna change tonight,
There’s gotta be a better life.
Take a picture sweetie, I ain’t got time to waste.
(This one buys you an extra six seconds of cleanliness, so check it all out.)
“Let’s Go Crazy”
Let’s go crazy, let’s get nuts.
Look for the purple banana
‘Til they put us in the truck, let’s go!
(Repeat once, unless you want to just dance around for four bars’ worth.)