SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) — A sentence in which tiny birds and the English language are both slaughtered is this year’s winner of an annual bad writing contest.

San Jose State University Prof. Scott Rice says Sue Fondrie of Oshkosh, Wis., took top honors Monday in the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for her sentence comparing forgotten memories to dead sparrows.

Contestants are asked to submit the worst possible opening sentences to imaginary novels. Fondrie wrote:

“Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.”

Rice says the University of Wisconsin professor’s 26-word sentence is the shortest grand prize winner in the contest’s 29-year history.

(© Copyright 2011 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)

Comments (5)
  1. Reading his blog will be fun for sure 😀

  2. scared of kevin says:

    I thought kevin was the worst writer ever.

  3. Fureal says:

    I seen this in minnesoda b4 anyways i thought we were the worst

    1. Ben Dover says:

      I seen it in minnesoda too LOL.

  4. Swamp Rat says:

    I wonder what King, Hemingway, Twain, and Rowling would say to this awful sentence? Ouch! It would never pass classical English muster. The cheese heads strike again.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Watch & Listen LIVE