MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) – When the home opener for the Twins 2013 season happens amid temperatures hovering around the freezing point, you have to presume that a few Minnesotans are going to take full advantage of the opportunity to pull an April Fools prank.
Here are a few notable April 1st pranks from around the state:
Dennis Rodman To Settle Twin Cities Rivalry
If Dennis Rodman can solve the crisis over in North Korea, surely he can help resolve the long-standing rivalry between Minneapolis and St. Paul, right?
The St. Paul Area Chamber of Commerce said on Monday they had recruited the diplomatic talents of the former NBA superstar and fashion icon so that he might broker a peace accord between the Twin Cities.
“Our differences divide us when our similarities should unite us,” chamber president Matt Kramer said. “While the Aquatennial is a weak-kneed imitation of a true Minnesotan Festival like the Winter Carnival, and no Minneapolis Mayor has yet to skate Crashed Ice as a Saint Paul Mayor has done, we mean no malice to our cousins in commerce across the river. It is our hope that Mr. Rodman can find that common ground that has so long eluded us.”
The Chamber of Commerce said they are confident that Rodman can help unite the bitterly divided populace, claiming a visit to Minneapolis yielded the following statement from Rodman: “They are good people, odd for sure, but good people nonetheless.”
U Researchers Cure ‘Bieber Fever’
The University of Minnesota announced on Monday that researchers had confirmed their first successful cure of Bieber Fever.
The affliction has been causing fainting, screaming, confusion and crying among millions of people, mainly between the ages of 3 and 25 years old.
The university reported that a 12-year-old patient from Minnesota was deemed cured after she maintained her wits while “As Long As You Love Me” played at 120 decibels for over 30 minutes.
Dr. Michael Osterholm, the director of the University’s Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy, said that the department is optimistic about the results.
“It was touch and go for a while, but the success seen with this case really gives us hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel,” Osterholm said. “I shudder to think what our world would become if had we not found a cure when we did.”
Osterholm suggested the medical breakthrough came not a moment too soon, as researchers have been taken aback by the advent of the newest virus to afflict the same demographic — One Directzafluenza.
A note at the bottom of the release read: “April fools! There is, of course, still no cure for Bieber Fever.”
Ely’s Social Media Ban
Starting Monday, the small northern Minnesota town of Ely is banning social media. They have a new campaign that emphasizes, “only the birds tweet.”
The northern Minnesota city wants visitors to look up at the trees, water and nature, and not down their phones and laptops. Unnamed city officials are hinting that all electronic devices may be banned at the Boundary Waters because, they say, there is plenty of non-electronic fun to partake in their town summer.
Of course, Monday is April 1 so consider the timing of this announcement.
In the past, Ely’s April Fool’s Day antics have included a claim that Dairy Queen was going sponsor the Boundary Waters, so it would be known as the I-D-Q-B-W-C-A-W. And in 2009, they announced their bid to host the 2016 Olympics, and said they’d pay for it through meat raffles.
Someone Somewhere Put Saran Wrap Over The Toilet Bowl