Nearly two years ago a very well-meaning friend sent me a book called ‘Divorce is a Mitzvah.” I threw it in a closet … too soon.
Two years later, I still haven’t read it, because now I don’t need to. Oh friend, you’ve been with me on this ride, it’s been painful, tragic, unfair, long, expensive and shameful as many divorces are, but a Mitzvah? Yes, in its own way.
Is it too soon for me to write all the good things about my divorce? Click on the weather link above if you aren’t ready for the PG version of 40-year-old-single-mom-finding-her-way-after-her-husband-of-15-years/high-school-sweetheart-betrays-her-and-walks-out.
It was scary. It was fun. It was irresponsible. It was healing. It was educational. It was vulnerable. It was a second chance to do all the things I wasn’t doing. It was an opportunity to want new things. It was a do-over. It was freeing. It was lonely. It was gratifying. It was satisfying. It was sad. It was affirming. It was uninhibited. It was grounding. It was mournful. I got to feel feelings I didn’t know I had. I had experiences I didn’t know I wanted. I did things I would never tell my mother, or my kids! And if I was still married, those 2 years of growing, learning and living, REALLY living, never would have happened for me.
Then one day, a handsome man walks into a bar, sweeps you off your feet and you feel you are ready to try to be a partner again. But this time a better, more evolved, more patient, more educated, more understanding, more loving, more giving, more forgiving partner. Then he asks you to go to Paris with him, and your boss makes special arrangements so you can take that vacation time and your nanny and ex-husband coordinate care for your kids and you buy a new dress with money you’ve saved as a rebuilding-single-mom to wear on the Champs-Élysées. Now that’s a Mitzvah.
Have a great week, I’ll post pictures I’ll be back the 20th. Au revior!