Watch WCCO 4 News Live: Click Here To Watch WCCO This Morning

TALE OF THE TAPE

Andre Johnson Vs. Santa Claus: How Does He Match Up To St. Nick?

Fantasy wunderkind and all-around decent guy Andre Johnson just did something pretty nifty. He purchased over $17,000 worth of toys for children in Child Protective Services. It’s an awfully kind gesture, especially during the holiday season. But how does Johnson stack up against the ultimate gift giver, Santa Claus? Let’s go to the tape:

Andre Johnson
Santa Claus
Miami Dolphins v Houston Texans
Macy's Hosts Annual Thanksgiving Day Parade In New York City
40 Time?
4.41 Seconds
Winner I mean...one estimate has St. Nick traveling at roughly 5.6 million miles per hour (in order to deliver all those presents) so...whatever 40 yards of that is. A blink, essentially.
Weight?
Winner A svelte 227 pounds.
Probably more than that.
Receiving TDs this year?
Winner 5 this year (really? That feels low). 61 overall (that too).
None?
Estimated value of Presents
$17,352
Winner Millions and millions
Is he real?
Winner Yep!
Who’s asking? Where are your parents?
Reaction to seeing mommy kissing him?
Winner ...I’M GONNA BE RICH!
Set it to a song!
Reaction when you hear him “Up on a rooftop, click-click-click”ing?
Stranger! I’m calling the police right now.
Winner Weeeeeeee! Presents!

The Winner Is

Miami Dolphins v Houston Texans
Winner Andre Johnson
4 out of 7

So there you have it. After a hard-fought battle of joyful giving, Andre Johnson takes the round 3-2! And rightly so. What a terrific fella.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. (credit: Hannah Foslien/Getty Images) (Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images)
    Which Team Wins, The Wild Or Blackhawks?

    Game 1 between the Wild and Blackhawks is in Chicago Friday night and Game 2 is Sunday night. The series comes to St. Paul on Tuesday. So which team will advance? Which team has the edge? Here’s a preview at a glance.

  2. (credit: Jamie McDonald/Getty Images) (credit: Julian Finney/Getty Images)
    Our Fortune-Telling Ball Predicts 2015 Vikes’ Season

    The full NFL schedules were released this week, and a lot of experts are going to have a lot of things to say about what these schedules mean for their teams. On behalf of the shall we say non-diehards, I feel like that ubiquitous prediction-telling 8 ball on my desk at work has about as good a shot at making the correct calls as the experts.

  3. Frank Kaminsky #44 of the Wisconsin Badgers (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images) Head coach Mike Krzyzewski of the Duke Blue Devils (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
    NCAA Championship Tale: #1 Wisconsin Badgers Vs. #1 Duke Blue Devils

    Two No. 1 seeds battle for the national title. Here is a look at the matchup between the Wisconsin Badgers and Duke Blue Devils.

See All Tales of the Tape