Less Painful: Watching Jacksonville Or Undergoing Invasive, Unnecessary Surgery?
With the Jacksonville Jaguars unable to do anything right, and turning in performances reminiscent of the ’62 Mets absent any of the charm, watching their games is beyond brutal.
Tale Of The Tape: Carolina Panthers At Minnesota Vikings
The Week Five loss to the Arizona Cardinals was a vital game for Cam Newton. He had performed well in his previous game vs. the Giants and the Panthers were coming off a bye week.
More Impressive Stats? Denver Broncos Offense Vs. Playing Madden On “Easy”
The Broncos are on pace to break some crazy impressive records. But how do the 2013 Broncos measure up against when I play Madden on easy?
The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”
Perhaps the most lopsided battle in video game sports is that of Little Mac vs. Glass Joe – the first fight in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! If done correctly, skilled players can knock the beans out of Joe in 42 seconds, flat. Unskilled players can still take him out before three rounds are up. And unskilled players who think too much would wonder – why is a French guy named “Joe”?
In any case, we here at CBS wondered, what was a more lopsided matchup (and subsequent surprising defeat): Mac vs. Joe? Or the recent Super Bowl champion New York Giants vs. the mostly hapless Carolina Panthers? Let’s go to the tape. Please note that the “winner” of each category is the more humiliating option:
One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)
Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.
Tale Of The Tape: Pittsburgh Steelers At Minnesota Vikings
The hole for the Pittsburgh Steelers keeps on getting deeper and deeper, and Ben Roethlisberger is coming off a game in which he had an interception and a fumble returned for a touchdown.